by Ελένη Ηλέκτρα Σακάι “I have had lots of troubles, most of them which never happened” Breathe. Breathe.
This is not the first time you are leaving your homeland. The place that made you who you are, who you think you are and who you will be will most probably be affected as well. That place is under the clouds now and will still be there when you come back. The people you love will be different but they will still be there. Every time you come back. Every time you feel the need of a home. Stop crying. I mean crying is soothing, it reminds you that you are human after all, that feels, feels with every little and small cell that there is. So, don’t stop crying. Let it go until it doesn’t put an extra weight to your chest. Hug yourself. If you do not do it and if you don’t accept it as it is, no one will. As you are alone in this place, this is how you will learn to be there for yourself when it needs time to rethink, recharge and restart. Look your reflection at the airplane’s little window. This is all you have now. You will change so much these next months that make sure you remember when you see your reflection again that it’s still you. Still the same soul that is wandering and daydreaming, that always thinks how far is the next galaxy, how tasty is a good barbecue when is shared with friends, how amazing sea looks during sunset, how life will always be a roller coaster, how you will always be changing like the waves do. Healing will come. Healing always comes. Not by request. Not linearly. It comes by being open to accept the soothing power sinking in your being. It rolls into you, not by solving the pain of the past neither by protecting yourself from the sharp edges of the future. Healing happens on the days that you trust the process and you accept the winds as they are. When you learn to sway with them rather that bike through them. Everything changes. You can’t avoid change. You can’t avoid growth. As you begin to put more of your work, your philosophies, and yourself out into the world you know that it is natural to come up against all that internally and externally inhibits you. As this occurs, study the obstacles. Seeing what, if any, wisdom they hold. Observing the ways in which some delays are productive; important in your editing process; valuable for your learning curves. Notice when self-doubt rears its head, disguising itself as an appropriate excuse for procrastination. Counter these thoughts with the best argument that you've got: either give this your all or, at the very least, a large part of you will always wonder what could have been. And then the going gets tough, remind yourself to retreat to your inner temple. I know you are scared. Look at the sky and appreciate how far you have come. And who knows, maybe somewhere there you will see your city under the clouds.
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